The Vicious Cycle
Thine eyes are blurry part of the reason is because I'm typing without my glasses...(that statement is true), but what lies beneath is something I made up in my head
Yet I have a blindfold over my eyes, because I don't want to see what's at hand. I know it's wrong but why do I give in. He's not my man he says, all he wants is for us to be friends. He confuses me I'm caught in a daze. He would be perfect for me if he were to change his ways. I like the thought of us together, but we could never be. Is it something I'm doing?... I'm going to push until he falls hard for me. Why is he so callous, is my passion not warming his heart? I can't stand when he doesn't call he says "a man needs his time apart." I keep thinking what a fool I am to still be here. Oh no it's coming, conscious is telling me "Suck it up girl you better not shed a tear!" If only he could feel how I feel I pray to God every night that he does... Please Lord show him how to love! I guess God doesn't hear me, because he has yet to change. I care about him so much that it drives me insane. I tattooed his name across my heart internally, but on my body a place for his eyes only. Why must I play the broken- hearted girl? All I want is for him to hold me! What about the other girls... Are they just friends as well? I promise if what we have is the same as them; I'm going to jail! I'll set his car on fire and bleach all his clothes... That's what I tell myself, but if I will do it only the Lord knows. When will I remove the blindfold... I'm my own hindrance... I kneel to my knees and ask God for repentance. Lord forgive me for the fornication, the profanity, and thank you for your salvation. Forgive me of my many accusations... I know you heard my cry and are holding my hand. I know that you revealed his wrongdoing upon me over and over again. I know that if I yield to you, that you will send me the desires of my heart. I know that I will receive a man who will never say the words "time apart." I know that I deserve the best and it's yet to come. I know that when you send him to me that I will be his only one. No more sharing men or settling for less. I am putting those old habits to rest. No more Kevin's, James, nor Micheal's... because from here on out I'm ending my VICIOUS CYCLE!
So here's to you that ended your Vicious Cycle or those of you who are trying to end it.
I have plenty of friends who are in this situation or who were in it... I was in one myself until I let go of that hindrance. Am I dating now? No and I have no problem with that, but I feel that as a person with standards that I deserve better. Not just another waste of time, but someone worth it. A lot of us tend to settle with a person not knowing our title with them just because he or she is there. Then we go cry to our friends about what he or she has done, yet we make no effort to try and stop the situtation. So what do you do when enough is enough... it's simple LEAVE. We are given the signs and warnings at first, but we block them out; that's where we mess up! It's up to us to prevent our feelings from getting involved before they react. Now if you know that you fall easily in love and you are being warned, then STAY AWAY!!! Calling your friends about the same thing gets worn out and it shows on you. You start to go through stress... which may lead to depression and the last stage is an unhealthy diet... some call it anorexia or bulimia! My advice to you is to stop your vicious cycle now... You should not have to be naive to be loved rather strong- minded and as you were before he or she met you.
Yet I have a blindfold over my eyes, because I don't want to see what's at hand. I know it's wrong but why do I give in. He's not my man he says, all he wants is for us to be friends. He confuses me I'm caught in a daze. He would be perfect for me if he were to change his ways. I like the thought of us together, but we could never be. Is it something I'm doing?... I'm going to push until he falls hard for me. Why is he so callous, is my passion not warming his heart? I can't stand when he doesn't call he says "a man needs his time apart." I keep thinking what a fool I am to still be here. Oh no it's coming, conscious is telling me "Suck it up girl you better not shed a tear!" If only he could feel how I feel I pray to God every night that he does... Please Lord show him how to love! I guess God doesn't hear me, because he has yet to change. I care about him so much that it drives me insane. I tattooed his name across my heart internally, but on my body a place for his eyes only. Why must I play the broken- hearted girl? All I want is for him to hold me! What about the other girls... Are they just friends as well? I promise if what we have is the same as them; I'm going to jail! I'll set his car on fire and bleach all his clothes... That's what I tell myself, but if I will do it only the Lord knows. When will I remove the blindfold... I'm my own hindrance... I kneel to my knees and ask God for repentance. Lord forgive me for the fornication, the profanity, and thank you for your salvation. Forgive me of my many accusations... I know you heard my cry and are holding my hand. I know that you revealed his wrongdoing upon me over and over again. I know that if I yield to you, that you will send me the desires of my heart. I know that I will receive a man who will never say the words "time apart." I know that I deserve the best and it's yet to come. I know that when you send him to me that I will be his only one. No more sharing men or settling for less. I am putting those old habits to rest. No more Kevin's, James, nor Micheal's... because from here on out I'm ending my VICIOUS CYCLE!
So here's to you that ended your Vicious Cycle or those of you who are trying to end it.
I have plenty of friends who are in this situation or who were in it... I was in one myself until I let go of that hindrance. Am I dating now? No and I have no problem with that, but I feel that as a person with standards that I deserve better. Not just another waste of time, but someone worth it. A lot of us tend to settle with a person not knowing our title with them just because he or she is there. Then we go cry to our friends about what he or she has done, yet we make no effort to try and stop the situtation. So what do you do when enough is enough... it's simple LEAVE. We are given the signs and warnings at first, but we block them out; that's where we mess up! It's up to us to prevent our feelings from getting involved before they react. Now if you know that you fall easily in love and you are being warned, then STAY AWAY!!! Calling your friends about the same thing gets worn out and it shows on you. You start to go through stress... which may lead to depression and the last stage is an unhealthy diet... some call it anorexia or bulimia! My advice to you is to stop your vicious cycle now... You should not have to be naive to be loved rather strong- minded and as you were before he or she met you.
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