"My Day" Day
Embrace your cheeks with a fingertips pinch and
Your curves with hands on hip
Your bossom on a comfortable seat
Let some sand massage your feet
Let your hair be styled by the wind
Give your back a nice big bend
Let today's music to your ears be the sound of the ocean from a seashell
Today tell anger it's been evicted, instead let humbleness replace the anger where your heart once dwell
Wiggle the anxiety of today's journey out of your toes
Don't be afraid to let a butterfly tickle your nose
Close your eyes imagine you're in paradise then count to five
Extend your arms up to the sky
Tilt your head back a little just to hold it high
Extend your fingers lock hands with the air
Open your mouth and release all your worries and cares
Relax your stomach from it's daily exercise
Jump for joy let your legs feel surprised
Let the corners of your mouth form a smile
Break away from the world just for a little while
Let it be free from this worlds insanity
Shout I am happy where I am now and where my future takes me
Just for a moment take your life on a spin and have it your way
Live for it, enjoy, for it is beautiful, because it's "My Day" Day!
Your curves with hands on hip
Your bossom on a comfortable seat
Let some sand massage your feet
Let your hair be styled by the wind
Give your back a nice big bend
Let today's music to your ears be the sound of the ocean from a seashell
Today tell anger it's been evicted, instead let humbleness replace the anger where your heart once dwell
Wiggle the anxiety of today's journey out of your toes
Don't be afraid to let a butterfly tickle your nose
Close your eyes imagine you're in paradise then count to five
Extend your arms up to the sky
Tilt your head back a little just to hold it high
Extend your fingers lock hands with the air
Open your mouth and release all your worries and cares
Relax your stomach from it's daily exercise
Jump for joy let your legs feel surprised
Let the corners of your mouth form a smile
Break away from the world just for a little while
Let it be free from this worlds insanity
Shout I am happy where I am now and where my future takes me
Just for a moment take your life on a spin and have it your way
Live for it, enjoy, for it is beautiful, because it's "My Day" Day!
Ignorant Fool
Speaking fluent English is common
Thinking someone has to be a certain race to do so or acts of this race by doing so is ignorance
Carrying a gun to intimidate people is foolish
Thinking all minorities do so for this reason is ignorance
Wearing Hollister, Ruehl, and American Eagle is a fashion
Thinking that it's for a certain race to wear is ignorance... they are just clothes c'mon
Making up new slang is a youths fad
Thinking only one race does so is ignorance
Eating healthy food is essential to the body
Thinking one is acting out of character by doing so of a "certain race" is ignorance... hello it's innocent food
Going to a diverse university or college means getting to know the world
Thinking that all African Americans stick together and go to only HBCU's, because they fear mingling with other race is ignorance
Wanting to become a Doctor, Lawyer, or Teacher is helping to make this world a better place
Thinking all race except for African Americans can only be the Doctors and Lawyers while they can be teachers is ignorance
A man wearing his pants a little snug is "what's in"
Thinking all men are homosexual for doing so is ignorance
Living in Poverty is common around the globe
Thinking all African Americans are and started this way of living is ignorance
Going to the beach is fun
Thinking that this is the way all Latins and Haitians got to America is ignorance
Dressing in suits and ties is a professional look
Thinking that you must be Caucasian to do so or afford this attire is ignorance
Adding extensions to your hair is women's way of beautifyng themselves
Thinking this statement only applies to African American women is ignorance
Saying that all African American women have bad hair or short hair comes from the mouth of a fool
Playing sports since adolescence to young men and women is a passion
Thinking that it is all minorities know how to do is ignorance
Saying that it is the only way they can get scholarships for college is said by a fool
Rapping is another flow of poetry that comes from one's inner thoughts
Thinking it only applies to African Americans and that Caucasians can not do it is ignorance
Saying that everything they rap about is how they lived there lives, especially the bad is ignorance
Just because one raps about poverty and other things they see around them, does not mean they are living it
It is art and a way of painting a picture from one's mind for the world to see
Eating steak is Eating Steak point blank
Saying that it is to expensive to afford comes from a fool it is ignorant to think of yourself that way and foolish to say that it is only affordable to the "rich"
Celebrities are people who get extra tv time and are known around the world... some have millions, but it takes time to get there through hard work
Saying that they work harder then the average American is foolish... What is the "Average American?" We are all human at the end of the day!
Thinking they are the only voices of America and that they speak for us is ignorance... as if we have no voice or opinion of our own. You too have a voice and it is strictly up to you whether or not you want it to be heard!
Comedy can be found in anyone and everyone can be funny at times
Saying that it's the only role for black actors/actresses can play very good is foolish
Thinking that that they can never play a serious role and would suck at it is ignorance... everyone likes to laugh I see not a problem with that... It's a problem when being mimicked!
Having a luxurious life is a way of living... a lifestyle
Thinking every African American who has a lifestyle of this did something illicit to attain it is ignorance
Drug addiction is everywhere around the world
Thinking it was derived from minorities and only done by them is ignorance... Thinking Caucasians are pill poppers and African Americans weed heads is ignorance
Wearing color clothing that doesn't match to us is called Harajuku fashion
Saying someone is Haitian for doing so is foolish
Thinking that they have a reason to dress like that now is ignorance... Clothes are clothes!
Owning pets is like adding an extra member to the family
Thinking all Haitians own Cats and Dogs to eat them for dinner is ignorance
Profanity can sometimes come from the mouth of a fool
Thinking you have a lack of knowledge, because you do so is ignorance
Praising God is apart of religion
Thinking that by doing so you are behaving like that of a "bafoon" is too ignorance
Saying that it is what people do to get out of trouble and it never works comes forth from a fool
You have your religious views and so do they... It is disrespectful to challenge one's religious views
In today's society many teenage girls are having children
Thinking that the majority of them are minorities is ignorance
Saying that they will never amount to anything and be raised by a single parent is foolish
Going to jails and or prisons is a place where criminals belong
Thinking that more are being built because it's a second home for minorities is ignorance
Saying that all minorities will face jail time in their lives comes from a foolish man
AIDs and STDs can be found in just about anyone
Saying that only blacks get one of the two is foolish
Thinking minorites can only have either is ignorance
Death is a part of life
Saying that minorites kill each; while cancer kills Caucasians is foolish
Thinking what the foolish says, is ture is ignorance
Many people own homes and some can't afford them
Thinking all Caucasians were born and raised in trailer homes or are "trailer-trash" and Minorities only live in the projects and are "ghetto' is ignorance
There are plenty of smart people in the world
Thinking that only Asians are smart and the rest of the world could never be, as smart as, they are is ignorance
It's all in the way that you as a person, not a race in its entirety, apply yourself the effort you give is the result of your outcome... Your input reveals your output!
There are a lot of people trying to receive higher educations and make something of themselves in this world
Thinking students who attend HBCU's will never make it to the top or get a good job is ignorance
Saying that if a student from a diverse institute and one from a HBCU applied for the same job, that the diverse grad will definitely get it comes from a non- degree having fool... or even a degree recipient fool
Either way they are both fools for giving such an ignorant opinion... Where's the proof? There is none!
IGNORANCE ... REMOVE THE I G double N's and O what are you left with RACE
Ignorance is another word for race... Why is ignorance in the same category with race?
It's in the same category, because what you don't know you formulate an opinion about and care not to even learn... in so many words you just defined ignorance!
Ignorance is judging and not knowing; A fool or foolish behavior is someone who says or acts out ignorance; just another outsider looking in. The two go hand in hand if you ask me! When will it stop?...Ignorant fools!
Those who think ignorantly act foolish... Therefore Ignorance is as a fool does!
Thinking someone has to be a certain race to do so or acts of this race by doing so is ignorance
Carrying a gun to intimidate people is foolish
Thinking all minorities do so for this reason is ignorance
Wearing Hollister, Ruehl, and American Eagle is a fashion
Thinking that it's for a certain race to wear is ignorance... they are just clothes c'mon
Making up new slang is a youths fad
Thinking only one race does so is ignorance
Eating healthy food is essential to the body
Thinking one is acting out of character by doing so of a "certain race" is ignorance... hello it's innocent food
Going to a diverse university or college means getting to know the world
Thinking that all African Americans stick together and go to only HBCU's, because they fear mingling with other race is ignorance
Wanting to become a Doctor, Lawyer, or Teacher is helping to make this world a better place
Thinking all race except for African Americans can only be the Doctors and Lawyers while they can be teachers is ignorance
A man wearing his pants a little snug is "what's in"
Thinking all men are homosexual for doing so is ignorance
Living in Poverty is common around the globe
Thinking all African Americans are and started this way of living is ignorance
Going to the beach is fun
Thinking that this is the way all Latins and Haitians got to America is ignorance
Dressing in suits and ties is a professional look
Thinking that you must be Caucasian to do so or afford this attire is ignorance
Adding extensions to your hair is women's way of beautifyng themselves
Thinking this statement only applies to African American women is ignorance
Saying that all African American women have bad hair or short hair comes from the mouth of a fool
Playing sports since adolescence to young men and women is a passion
Thinking that it is all minorities know how to do is ignorance
Saying that it is the only way they can get scholarships for college is said by a fool
Rapping is another flow of poetry that comes from one's inner thoughts
Thinking it only applies to African Americans and that Caucasians can not do it is ignorance
Saying that everything they rap about is how they lived there lives, especially the bad is ignorance
Just because one raps about poverty and other things they see around them, does not mean they are living it
It is art and a way of painting a picture from one's mind for the world to see
Eating steak is Eating Steak point blank
Saying that it is to expensive to afford comes from a fool it is ignorant to think of yourself that way and foolish to say that it is only affordable to the "rich"
Celebrities are people who get extra tv time and are known around the world... some have millions, but it takes time to get there through hard work
Saying that they work harder then the average American is foolish... What is the "Average American?" We are all human at the end of the day!
Thinking they are the only voices of America and that they speak for us is ignorance... as if we have no voice or opinion of our own. You too have a voice and it is strictly up to you whether or not you want it to be heard!
Comedy can be found in anyone and everyone can be funny at times
Saying that it's the only role for black actors/actresses can play very good is foolish
Thinking that that they can never play a serious role and would suck at it is ignorance... everyone likes to laugh I see not a problem with that... It's a problem when being mimicked!
Having a luxurious life is a way of living... a lifestyle
Thinking every African American who has a lifestyle of this did something illicit to attain it is ignorance
Drug addiction is everywhere around the world
Thinking it was derived from minorities and only done by them is ignorance... Thinking Caucasians are pill poppers and African Americans weed heads is ignorance
Wearing color clothing that doesn't match to us is called Harajuku fashion
Saying someone is Haitian for doing so is foolish
Thinking that they have a reason to dress like that now is ignorance... Clothes are clothes!
Owning pets is like adding an extra member to the family
Thinking all Haitians own Cats and Dogs to eat them for dinner is ignorance
Profanity can sometimes come from the mouth of a fool
Thinking you have a lack of knowledge, because you do so is ignorance
Praising God is apart of religion
Thinking that by doing so you are behaving like that of a "bafoon" is too ignorance
Saying that it is what people do to get out of trouble and it never works comes forth from a fool
You have your religious views and so do they... It is disrespectful to challenge one's religious views
In today's society many teenage girls are having children
Thinking that the majority of them are minorities is ignorance
Saying that they will never amount to anything and be raised by a single parent is foolish
Going to jails and or prisons is a place where criminals belong
Thinking that more are being built because it's a second home for minorities is ignorance
Saying that all minorities will face jail time in their lives comes from a foolish man
AIDs and STDs can be found in just about anyone
Saying that only blacks get one of the two is foolish
Thinking minorites can only have either is ignorance
Death is a part of life
Saying that minorites kill each; while cancer kills Caucasians is foolish
Thinking what the foolish says, is ture is ignorance
Many people own homes and some can't afford them
Thinking all Caucasians were born and raised in trailer homes or are "trailer-trash" and Minorities only live in the projects and are "ghetto' is ignorance
There are plenty of smart people in the world
Thinking that only Asians are smart and the rest of the world could never be, as smart as, they are is ignorance
It's all in the way that you as a person, not a race in its entirety, apply yourself the effort you give is the result of your outcome... Your input reveals your output!
There are a lot of people trying to receive higher educations and make something of themselves in this world
Thinking students who attend HBCU's will never make it to the top or get a good job is ignorance
Saying that if a student from a diverse institute and one from a HBCU applied for the same job, that the diverse grad will definitely get it comes from a non- degree having fool... or even a degree recipient fool
Either way they are both fools for giving such an ignorant opinion... Where's the proof? There is none!
IGNORANCE ... REMOVE THE I G double N's and O what are you left with RACE
Ignorance is another word for race... Why is ignorance in the same category with race?
It's in the same category, because what you don't know you formulate an opinion about and care not to even learn... in so many words you just defined ignorance!
Ignorance is judging and not knowing; A fool or foolish behavior is someone who says or acts out ignorance; just another outsider looking in. The two go hand in hand if you ask me! When will it stop?...Ignorant fools!
Those who think ignorantly act foolish... Therefore Ignorance is as a fool does!
Love's fear
I'm coming off strong on this one... Are you READY for it? Okay here goes...
You wake up one sunny morning and BOOM your life flashes right before your eyes... You've just been dumped! You demand answers, but you keep getting the run around. You begin to ask yourself... How could something so perfect end like this? You didn't realize that it had not been perfect at all! It took months for you to notice, but you still ask the question Why? in the back of your mind. You blame yourself for what happened... but maybe it wasn't you at all. Whose to say that you didn't give it your all... you can be the judge of that. You tell yourself to get over it, but your heart won't let you. Is this not what happens to every fairytale relationship? Listen it's time you get over it. Life is not over for you! There are plenty of single people out there waiting to meet you. You hear this all the time. What you really wish that someone would say is, Follow your heart... Go back and get your man/girl, if they really love you then they will gladly take you back and make it work, if not then it sucks for them you were the best he/she has ever had. No you were not, because if you were then you would still be with them. It's all getting old and routine... Stop letting charm steal your love! Good ridding to them they probably weren't the one anyway. You shouldn't have to put up a fight to love someone... or even get them to like you. Then again with love it all boils down to you fighting yourself to get your heart back. So now that you're finally over it BAM! Here comes that old thing trying to win you back. Why does love have to be so complicated? I'll tell you why! It's because when love calls fear tries to intervene, and if you let fear get in the way of love then you're not ready to love at all. You still have some jerks to go through to get past the fear of being loved or giving love... The fear of deceit, the fear of losing the romance, the fear of waking up new or unattractive(which in this case is insecurity) in their eyes... how would you know if they thought the same anyway, if you just assume they do! The fear of the relationship going nowhere, someday, or it getting old period! The fear of someone new coming around, the fear of you being replaced by that attractive long- term friend... then their definitely not for you! The fear of the case of the- ex, the fear of giving your all and receiving nothing in return, the fear of flaws getting in the way... the love isn't real! The fear of love not being mutual anymore... they never loved you in the first place! The fear of the main component being lost...LOVE!!! Fear and love are not to be mixed and if they are then keep on dating, because it's blatant that you still have to go through the wrong one's to get to the right one. You will know because... Love is genuine, unconditional, without requirement( and I stress this a lot), and faithful no matter the circumstances. "It shall not be aroused or waken until it is so desired." Song of Songs 8:4 When your heart is humbled and yearns for love, then it is time that you are ready for love!
Living in fear of love is like causing a slow death to the heart, through burns going from first degree to fourth. If you make it to the fourth burn, then you give fear the right to intervene, and be the threat to die off your love.
You wake up one sunny morning and BOOM your life flashes right before your eyes... You've just been dumped! You demand answers, but you keep getting the run around. You begin to ask yourself... How could something so perfect end like this? You didn't realize that it had not been perfect at all! It took months for you to notice, but you still ask the question Why? in the back of your mind. You blame yourself for what happened... but maybe it wasn't you at all. Whose to say that you didn't give it your all... you can be the judge of that. You tell yourself to get over it, but your heart won't let you. Is this not what happens to every fairytale relationship? Listen it's time you get over it. Life is not over for you! There are plenty of single people out there waiting to meet you. You hear this all the time. What you really wish that someone would say is, Follow your heart... Go back and get your man/girl, if they really love you then they will gladly take you back and make it work, if not then it sucks for them you were the best he/she has ever had. No you were not, because if you were then you would still be with them. It's all getting old and routine... Stop letting charm steal your love! Good ridding to them they probably weren't the one anyway. You shouldn't have to put up a fight to love someone... or even get them to like you. Then again with love it all boils down to you fighting yourself to get your heart back. So now that you're finally over it BAM! Here comes that old thing trying to win you back. Why does love have to be so complicated? I'll tell you why! It's because when love calls fear tries to intervene, and if you let fear get in the way of love then you're not ready to love at all. You still have some jerks to go through to get past the fear of being loved or giving love... The fear of deceit, the fear of losing the romance, the fear of waking up new or unattractive(which in this case is insecurity) in their eyes... how would you know if they thought the same anyway, if you just assume they do! The fear of the relationship going nowhere, someday, or it getting old period! The fear of someone new coming around, the fear of you being replaced by that attractive long- term friend... then their definitely not for you! The fear of the case of the- ex, the fear of giving your all and receiving nothing in return, the fear of flaws getting in the way... the love isn't real! The fear of love not being mutual anymore... they never loved you in the first place! The fear of the main component being lost...LOVE!!! Fear and love are not to be mixed and if they are then keep on dating, because it's blatant that you still have to go through the wrong one's to get to the right one. You will know because... Love is genuine, unconditional, without requirement( and I stress this a lot), and faithful no matter the circumstances. "It shall not be aroused or waken until it is so desired." Song of Songs 8:4 When your heart is humbled and yearns for love, then it is time that you are ready for love!
Living in fear of love is like causing a slow death to the heart, through burns going from first degree to fourth. If you make it to the fourth burn, then you give fear the right to intervene, and be the threat to die off your love.
To You
On my website (currently under construction) I said it and now I am on this blog too which I call a Traveling Minds instead...
Fantasia reached out to the Baby Mama's/ Mothers and so will I... I have no clue to your situation, but I can create a scenario
I am like most girls... You know meet a guy, become his friend, date him and fall for him
I never intended for it to get, as far as, making babies, but I didn't want to get really old and then start having kids
Some say that I'm crazy for feeling that way, but I often imagined having his kid one day we all do
Not reluctantly but willingly
Everyone said you would be making the biggest mistake of your life and it will be very hard, but it's my body and decision... my life as well
What they see as a mistake I see as a blessing
Why am I being ridiculed for wanting to have a child at this age when everyone does it?
Not saying that I'm jumping on the bandwagon, but sometimes when you can't get that love you want from others, you can at least look to what came from your womb for love, that is without requirement or judgement
I know I'm young and that my whole life is ahead of me, but it's what my heart desires
I hadn't planned on having a child it was a thought, but I often wondered what it would be like to be a young Mother
One day you wake up and a month goes by with a missed cycle, but if you are irregular it happens, so it's normal, but if you know your monthly's date then that's when it's a problem
You begin to worry... tell a friend before him and they are your emotion of shock
Then you're faced with an ultimatum... Keep the baby and face the many opinions of the world or get an abortion
Then it's your parents finding out, your child's father and his responsibility of helping to take care of "our" child, and the walk of what everyone calls shame
I think about how much he loves me and know for a fact he wouldn't abandon us, but who's to say if he will keep his word
So I get a pregnancy test in private and await my answer... minutes pass and so did I with the test
I then call him up and ask him to put all that he is doing aside
I reveal the news and he doesn't believe me... show him the test and another is taken to prove to him that I am
Where do we go from here?... He ask if I would like to keep our child or keep it a secret (abortion)
Shall we tell our parents? We both don't know... we're young and will be called foolish
So what do we do now? I would have to switch schools and get a job and he will have to work even harder
I'm into three months of pregnancy and Mom and Dad still has no clue
They say I put on weight and my eating habits have changed... they know their daughter
So what do I do? what will my siblings say?... "We never would have thought you too, would get pregnant" then others who think they know you... "I always knew she was a fast girl!" Those people always seem to never fail you, right!
I didn't do it to keep him or because I thought he was cheating honestly it just happened...
But no it's the cliche' a pregnant girl can never state her cause she's thrown in a class with the others
It's not fair, but it's the way of life
They say we shouldn't be doing it anyway, but Why was it okay for our ancestors to do it so young?
Then it goes back to them saying... "They had nothing else to do" or "Times were different back then" or my all time favorite one "They had to do it because that was the way it was; you have a chance now"
Lies all lies! They did have a chance, but became inferior to the world and did as so- called told!
Now it's time to tell! Too late for an abortion they don't like it ... Oh well!
Some will be, upset guys will look at you different, and friends will go on with their lives
Who cares what they think at least my child will think differently of me
They say I don't care I would have gotten an abortion... but you know what! You try feeling the kicks and being attached, then do it to your own child... you wouldn't do it neither!
It's so easy for a guy to say it, but as a young lady, women period! We're faced with a lot
So the months pass and hormones kick in... needs are being met, then your real friends are revealed
Your name is being slandered and business spread in the streets about what you did in between the sheets
Now it's getting old and people are starting to Congratulate, then again others will be themselves... the haters will hate
I just hope that one day will end for the "Baby Mama Drama" they swear that they know!
Being called stupid and just another preggo is not cool and it used to hurt, but who cares now
Our parents accepted and I was finally accepted by his Mother after it being said that, "It's not his or she's tying you down"... Soo like a mother to protect her son
I had it rough during pregnancy not feeling the love at all
I still stand despite them calling it my downfall
The baby is hear now everyone is waiting to see
So my poor baby can be judged by the world to be called beautiful or just ugly
It's a shame how this world is, and my heart aches even more for other kids
There goes the status being put up calling out us preggo girls
She's stupid... she did it for marriage... she did it to make him stay... reality will hit her hard and she'll end up being another one raising a baby alone in this world
Another fatherless baby she made a stupid decision
The one's who are always saying this blasphemy tends to be the uppity "College Girl"
Always trying to make someone feel bad about themselves; when really she does about herself
She hides behind her obsession for her looks and material things
She thinks that because you had a baby you're dumb, as if you never went to school at all
Why she points out the one's with babies? It's because she's inferior to those around her
She knows that she can't pick on them, because she's in their reach to put a killing on her
She thinks that she knows it all about the life of the preggo world, but has not a clue
The joy that's received from a baby and love no one else cared to give
The money spent on behalf of my child's expenses, but the mind over matter, because as long as me and others are providing for my child, then I don't mind, and your opinion on my income to support my child does not matter!
The fact that you believe I don't have a future nor standards... I had been raised just like you... that's if you too, do not dwell in a single parent home, and if I did my child will not!
The fact that I did not go away to school, but that I am in school back home building a foundation for me, and my child's future... pick up your face thanks!
The fact that my child does get to see their father, and if he were to leave still have other father figures around them... who's doing it to keep him now?
The fact that me getting pregnant to you was a mistake, and that I'm not a good Mother... It's a full time job and I'm darn good at it!
The fact that you think I will never amount to anything and become just another Baby Mama...
To be a Baby Mama is to be full of drama... I care for and support my child and was raised with class; my child will not and shall not be a product of being abandoned, a street wanderer, without clothes and shoes in the eyes of the public, nor me a another young mother who knows no better. I have good sense and do what I can to raise my child right... Remember who's the outsider looking in!
You can keep trying to peep through my window or let me befriend you by coming inside and seeing for yourself!
To the young Mothers who keep getting scorned by the world... I can keep it simple and tell you to listen to Tupac's- Keep your head up or Fantasia- Baby Mama, but I won't! It's not enough. You got pregnant and had a child... didn't know how life would turn out for you, but no one does. Life isn't a bowl of cherries and it will never be perfect! Everyone gets treated like crap even the people at the top of the hierarchy, because there is always someone out there who envies you! Whatever you're doing keep doing it, and if you're not doing anything then I'm here to give you that boost of confidence by telling you that you can do something. Don't sit around and wait for things to be handed to you... Get all the assistance you can get to do something to better your situation. Who cares what others think... It's your life and the decisions that you make, whether good or bad, should be made by you, so that you know, that when it all boils down to what happens in the end, you can only blame yourself for it's outcome!" Remember YOUR SITUATION DOES NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE YOU DO!!! I heard that from Allen Payne(actor) not in the same words, but in first person perspective, and decided to share it with you because it makes sense.
For you Jas,Quencia, Shawney, and Gesa... and to all who have blessings and not mistakes
Fantasia reached out to the Baby Mama's/ Mothers and so will I... I have no clue to your situation, but I can create a scenario
I am like most girls... You know meet a guy, become his friend, date him and fall for him
I never intended for it to get, as far as, making babies, but I didn't want to get really old and then start having kids
Some say that I'm crazy for feeling that way, but I often imagined having his kid one day we all do
Not reluctantly but willingly
Everyone said you would be making the biggest mistake of your life and it will be very hard, but it's my body and decision... my life as well
What they see as a mistake I see as a blessing
Why am I being ridiculed for wanting to have a child at this age when everyone does it?
Not saying that I'm jumping on the bandwagon, but sometimes when you can't get that love you want from others, you can at least look to what came from your womb for love, that is without requirement or judgement
I know I'm young and that my whole life is ahead of me, but it's what my heart desires
I hadn't planned on having a child it was a thought, but I often wondered what it would be like to be a young Mother
One day you wake up and a month goes by with a missed cycle, but if you are irregular it happens, so it's normal, but if you know your monthly's date then that's when it's a problem
You begin to worry... tell a friend before him and they are your emotion of shock
Then you're faced with an ultimatum... Keep the baby and face the many opinions of the world or get an abortion
Then it's your parents finding out, your child's father and his responsibility of helping to take care of "our" child, and the walk of what everyone calls shame
I think about how much he loves me and know for a fact he wouldn't abandon us, but who's to say if he will keep his word
So I get a pregnancy test in private and await my answer... minutes pass and so did I with the test
I then call him up and ask him to put all that he is doing aside
I reveal the news and he doesn't believe me... show him the test and another is taken to prove to him that I am
Where do we go from here?... He ask if I would like to keep our child or keep it a secret (abortion)
Shall we tell our parents? We both don't know... we're young and will be called foolish
So what do we do now? I would have to switch schools and get a job and he will have to work even harder
I'm into three months of pregnancy and Mom and Dad still has no clue
They say I put on weight and my eating habits have changed... they know their daughter
So what do I do? what will my siblings say?... "We never would have thought you too, would get pregnant" then others who think they know you... "I always knew she was a fast girl!" Those people always seem to never fail you, right!
I didn't do it to keep him or because I thought he was cheating honestly it just happened...
But no it's the cliche' a pregnant girl can never state her cause she's thrown in a class with the others
It's not fair, but it's the way of life
They say we shouldn't be doing it anyway, but Why was it okay for our ancestors to do it so young?
Then it goes back to them saying... "They had nothing else to do" or "Times were different back then" or my all time favorite one "They had to do it because that was the way it was; you have a chance now"
Lies all lies! They did have a chance, but became inferior to the world and did as so- called told!
Now it's time to tell! Too late for an abortion they don't like it ... Oh well!
Some will be, upset guys will look at you different, and friends will go on with their lives
Who cares what they think at least my child will think differently of me
They say I don't care I would have gotten an abortion... but you know what! You try feeling the kicks and being attached, then do it to your own child... you wouldn't do it neither!
It's so easy for a guy to say it, but as a young lady, women period! We're faced with a lot
So the months pass and hormones kick in... needs are being met, then your real friends are revealed
Your name is being slandered and business spread in the streets about what you did in between the sheets
Now it's getting old and people are starting to Congratulate, then again others will be themselves... the haters will hate
I just hope that one day will end for the "Baby Mama Drama" they swear that they know!
Being called stupid and just another preggo is not cool and it used to hurt, but who cares now
Our parents accepted and I was finally accepted by his Mother after it being said that, "It's not his or she's tying you down"... Soo like a mother to protect her son
I had it rough during pregnancy not feeling the love at all
I still stand despite them calling it my downfall
The baby is hear now everyone is waiting to see
So my poor baby can be judged by the world to be called beautiful or just ugly
It's a shame how this world is, and my heart aches even more for other kids
There goes the status being put up calling out us preggo girls
She's stupid... she did it for marriage... she did it to make him stay... reality will hit her hard and she'll end up being another one raising a baby alone in this world
Another fatherless baby she made a stupid decision
The one's who are always saying this blasphemy tends to be the uppity "College Girl"
Always trying to make someone feel bad about themselves; when really she does about herself
She hides behind her obsession for her looks and material things
She thinks that because you had a baby you're dumb, as if you never went to school at all
Why she points out the one's with babies? It's because she's inferior to those around her
She knows that she can't pick on them, because she's in their reach to put a killing on her
She thinks that she knows it all about the life of the preggo world, but has not a clue
The joy that's received from a baby and love no one else cared to give
The money spent on behalf of my child's expenses, but the mind over matter, because as long as me and others are providing for my child, then I don't mind, and your opinion on my income to support my child does not matter!
The fact that you believe I don't have a future nor standards... I had been raised just like you... that's if you too, do not dwell in a single parent home, and if I did my child will not!
The fact that I did not go away to school, but that I am in school back home building a foundation for me, and my child's future... pick up your face thanks!
The fact that my child does get to see their father, and if he were to leave still have other father figures around them... who's doing it to keep him now?
The fact that me getting pregnant to you was a mistake, and that I'm not a good Mother... It's a full time job and I'm darn good at it!
The fact that you think I will never amount to anything and become just another Baby Mama...
To be a Baby Mama is to be full of drama... I care for and support my child and was raised with class; my child will not and shall not be a product of being abandoned, a street wanderer, without clothes and shoes in the eyes of the public, nor me a another young mother who knows no better. I have good sense and do what I can to raise my child right... Remember who's the outsider looking in!
You can keep trying to peep through my window or let me befriend you by coming inside and seeing for yourself!
To the young Mothers who keep getting scorned by the world... I can keep it simple and tell you to listen to Tupac's- Keep your head up or Fantasia- Baby Mama, but I won't! It's not enough. You got pregnant and had a child... didn't know how life would turn out for you, but no one does. Life isn't a bowl of cherries and it will never be perfect! Everyone gets treated like crap even the people at the top of the hierarchy, because there is always someone out there who envies you! Whatever you're doing keep doing it, and if you're not doing anything then I'm here to give you that boost of confidence by telling you that you can do something. Don't sit around and wait for things to be handed to you... Get all the assistance you can get to do something to better your situation. Who cares what others think... It's your life and the decisions that you make, whether good or bad, should be made by you, so that you know, that when it all boils down to what happens in the end, you can only blame yourself for it's outcome!" Remember YOUR SITUATION DOES NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE YOU DO!!! I heard that from Allen Payne(actor) not in the same words, but in first person perspective, and decided to share it with you because it makes sense.
For you Jas,Quencia, Shawney, and Gesa... and to all who have blessings and not mistakes
Exposed
Women are exposed in too many ways and let me be the one to count thee...
There goes that crackling sound... Now the world knows you're on your monthly
No longer have that problem now that Kotex was the breadwinner of noiseless pads, unless you like Tampax
He thinks you have a great body... You cheated your way into his life with the "Body Magic"
Wait till he sees what's underneath that coke bottle shape of yours... there lye's... Saddle bags, no abs, and love handles aka muffin top
Then he'll really burn out the candles and blame it on the alcohol
He tells you your eyes are beautiful and your lashes compliments them
Too bad the lashes are fake and the color of your eyes too
You must get your beauty sleep, because you have thee most gorgeous face
After spending hours caking all that foundation, blush, liner, concealer, and shadow on it better be
Your lips are smooth and taste just like candy
Yeah that Mac Gloss sure came in handy
Your nails are so pretty and well groomed
That acrylic and the long wait to get them done was worth the while
Your hair is so long and flowing it's good to know he can run his fingers through it without them stumbling over a track
Wooh whoever created lace- front wigs are the BOMB it looks like its actually growing out of your head
Your feet are so soft... Took a while but the months of Baby oil and Vaseline paid off
Your breath smells so fresh and crisp... You're swift when it comes to the wisp
Girl you have the biggest butt I've ever seen... I'll make sure to wear peep hole panties when it's that time, don't want him to be disappointed by the butt pads
You must be a C- cup right... Yes thanks to Victoria Secrets new push- up bra
Thank God you don't have hair all over your body... That laser hair removal surgery had me behind the bills for awhile, but it was worth every penny
You have the nicest shoes and bags... If it wasn't for Pookie you wouldn't be half the Diva
Is that your man?... Yeah until it's time for him to be returned to the Dating Service, but they don't know it so it won't hurt them
You drive the nicest cars, and when the new one comes out you're the first to drive it... They will never let meet my rich friend then they'll really know it's not mine
That watch is nice the ring too where did you get it... It was a gift... really you were the one to give it
Your teeth are so perfect have that always been that way... Lumineers does the trick!
Women are exposed in every way possible... some can keep it under wraps and others are so envied that other women EXPOSE them!
It's only right to be true to yourself, because behind the Glitz and Glam is the real you and Originality is better then a Cover- up!
There goes that crackling sound... Now the world knows you're on your monthly
No longer have that problem now that Kotex was the breadwinner of noiseless pads, unless you like Tampax
He thinks you have a great body... You cheated your way into his life with the "Body Magic"
Wait till he sees what's underneath that coke bottle shape of yours... there lye's... Saddle bags, no abs, and love handles aka muffin top
Then he'll really burn out the candles and blame it on the alcohol
He tells you your eyes are beautiful and your lashes compliments them
Too bad the lashes are fake and the color of your eyes too
You must get your beauty sleep, because you have thee most gorgeous face
After spending hours caking all that foundation, blush, liner, concealer, and shadow on it better be
Your lips are smooth and taste just like candy
Yeah that Mac Gloss sure came in handy
Your nails are so pretty and well groomed
That acrylic and the long wait to get them done was worth the while
Your hair is so long and flowing it's good to know he can run his fingers through it without them stumbling over a track
Wooh whoever created lace- front wigs are the BOMB it looks like its actually growing out of your head
Your feet are so soft... Took a while but the months of Baby oil and Vaseline paid off
Your breath smells so fresh and crisp... You're swift when it comes to the wisp
Girl you have the biggest butt I've ever seen... I'll make sure to wear peep hole panties when it's that time, don't want him to be disappointed by the butt pads
You must be a C- cup right... Yes thanks to Victoria Secrets new push- up bra
Thank God you don't have hair all over your body... That laser hair removal surgery had me behind the bills for awhile, but it was worth every penny
You have the nicest shoes and bags... If it wasn't for Pookie you wouldn't be half the Diva
Is that your man?... Yeah until it's time for him to be returned to the Dating Service, but they don't know it so it won't hurt them
You drive the nicest cars, and when the new one comes out you're the first to drive it... They will never let meet my rich friend then they'll really know it's not mine
That watch is nice the ring too where did you get it... It was a gift... really you were the one to give it
Your teeth are so perfect have that always been that way... Lumineers does the trick!
Women are exposed in every way possible... some can keep it under wraps and others are so envied that other women EXPOSE them!
It's only right to be true to yourself, because behind the Glitz and Glam is the real you and Originality is better then a Cover- up!
To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.
iSupport this movement PUT A little LOVE ON YOUR ARM, BESIDES YOUR HEART
Natural Beauty v.s. Glamour and The Man
Call Beauty crazy but she admired the the natural things of life, she was just another one of the boys
She could have any man she wanted and when she tight- fist them they were hers.
Beauty knew how to charm them and she used it as her weapon
Beauty decided to step out after being sheltered for so long
She had met up with some old friends and they all thought "My how more Beautiful she has grown."
One whispered to her that she was gorgeous, but to her it was an understatement
She thought I'm a Natural Beauty how dare you call me Gorgeous!
She started gliding across the floor and showing off her good looks and they drooled for her.
She had not done it intentionally, but she was just trying to find a seat
She had fun that night and went back to her sheltered life at home
Beauty had received a message from her "Understatement calling" friend asking if she enjoyed herself
Of course, she did she got the chance to flaunt her good looks
After all if you got it flaunt it with your essence!
She was then asked to spend tomorrow with him and she hesitated, but said okay
Beauty is shy, but she plays a good role at it even better
She swayed her way into his emotion with her different personality and had him hooked
He had been taken and she had known it, but she only desired long term friendship
He became dazed by her conversation let alone looks and put in time with her
She admired it, but warned him about his girlfriend
She often asked him about his girlfriend "Glamour" and he would talk about her, but see he was a guy that
Liked to have his cake and eat it too!!!
Beauty was not having that!; she set him straight and told him to keep what he loved over what he liked
She may have swayed them with her looks and charm, but she never messed up a happy home
She always asked had Glamour been aware of their friendship and he denied
Beauty wanted to meet Glamour, but never had the chance to
They had seen each other on occassions, but never got the chance to be introduced
Beauty then realized that it had became a problem and wanted it to be resolved
It had been resolved alright, but not the way she had expected
Glamour often asked about Beauty, but was given short answered by her man
Beauty knew something was wrong... "Why can't he text me or let her know of his real whereabouts when either of us are around?"
Beauty knew he was living foul only the truth should be told she thought
Beauty was a flirt she didn't have to say anything her smile spoke for her
The man had often tried to compare the two, but you can't place Natural Beauty and Glamour in the same categories!
Besides Beauty knew she looked best; what girl wouldn't think highly of themselves... she didn't need the extra's like "Glamour"
Beauty hadn't heard from the man all day, so she finally decided to send him a message... knowing that she was taking a risk, but she thought, we're just friends anyway, so why not!?
Beauty sent the friendly message to the man... and within minutes received a phone call
Here's how Beauty and Glamour had been finally introduced
Beauty answered and had thought she was being tricked by the man, but it was actually Glamour
Glamour was skeptical about Beauty and the man and began to speak on her behalf
Beauty as the lady she is decided to let her talk then state her case
Glamour seemed nice, but she wasn't at all
Beauty knew that Glamour had asked about her already and wondered why she had to go and play the silly role of a woman
Beauty's eyebrow raised and she wanted answers
The next day Beauty brushed it off and went on with her life... She said no I can't let it be this way, so she called up the Man
The Man explained what happened, but briefly
Beauty was in fear that this would happen someday so she felt bad
She had let Glamour know she was just a friend and Glamour took it out on the man
Beauty respected her for that she did the right thing, for Beauty was only an innocent bystander
The day after Beauty received numerous messages on her phone
She first checked the t-messages and was upset with what she read
Then she cleared the missed calls and listened to the voice message
Beauty could not believe what her ears had heard the audacity of the man!
He told her to have a nice life and that in the future he hopes Glamour would let us be friends, as if she would actually wait around for him for an eternity or something!
Immediately Beauty returned his call, but as the classy lady she is she agreed
She then let the rage build after calling it off and called her cousin Unique
Unique helped her to vent and let her know it wasn't worth it in the first place
Beauty knew that Glamour had to keep her away from the man, because she is a Natural Beauty
She only let him befriend those who are his co-workers and those within their social bubble
Beauty was upset because she had been a long term friend, but she figured he will be back later
Beauty knows that once he comes to his senses he's going to miss her and she will never think to look back
Beauty knew she was still on his mind and often asked "How does the man sleep next to Glamour at night with Beauty on the mind?"
To bad the man never thought once about their friendship, but he will miss her if not now that she's gone...
Everyone knows that Natural Beauty beats Glamour, but to bad the man didn't recognize that!!!
Moral of the story is if you're friends with someone who's in a relationship and you ask to be introduced, but aren't by the friend then their intentions with you aren't good, especially if they are sneaking around with you and lying to their partner about where they are and whom they are with!!! Remember Karma is karma and you don't want it to happen to you, so leave her B!
She could have any man she wanted and when she tight- fist them they were hers.
Beauty knew how to charm them and she used it as her weapon
Beauty decided to step out after being sheltered for so long
She had met up with some old friends and they all thought "My how more Beautiful she has grown."
One whispered to her that she was gorgeous, but to her it was an understatement
She thought I'm a Natural Beauty how dare you call me Gorgeous!
She started gliding across the floor and showing off her good looks and they drooled for her.
She had not done it intentionally, but she was just trying to find a seat
She had fun that night and went back to her sheltered life at home
Beauty had received a message from her "Understatement calling" friend asking if she enjoyed herself
Of course, she did she got the chance to flaunt her good looks
After all if you got it flaunt it with your essence!
She was then asked to spend tomorrow with him and she hesitated, but said okay
Beauty is shy, but she plays a good role at it even better
She swayed her way into his emotion with her different personality and had him hooked
He had been taken and she had known it, but she only desired long term friendship
He became dazed by her conversation let alone looks and put in time with her
She admired it, but warned him about his girlfriend
She often asked him about his girlfriend "Glamour" and he would talk about her, but see he was a guy that
Liked to have his cake and eat it too!!!
Beauty was not having that!; she set him straight and told him to keep what he loved over what he liked
She may have swayed them with her looks and charm, but she never messed up a happy home
She always asked had Glamour been aware of their friendship and he denied
Beauty wanted to meet Glamour, but never had the chance to
They had seen each other on occassions, but never got the chance to be introduced
Beauty then realized that it had became a problem and wanted it to be resolved
It had been resolved alright, but not the way she had expected
Glamour often asked about Beauty, but was given short answered by her man
Beauty knew something was wrong... "Why can't he text me or let her know of his real whereabouts when either of us are around?"
Beauty knew he was living foul only the truth should be told she thought
Beauty was a flirt she didn't have to say anything her smile spoke for her
The man had often tried to compare the two, but you can't place Natural Beauty and Glamour in the same categories!
Besides Beauty knew she looked best; what girl wouldn't think highly of themselves... she didn't need the extra's like "Glamour"
Beauty hadn't heard from the man all day, so she finally decided to send him a message... knowing that she was taking a risk, but she thought, we're just friends anyway, so why not!?
Beauty sent the friendly message to the man... and within minutes received a phone call
Here's how Beauty and Glamour had been finally introduced
Beauty answered and had thought she was being tricked by the man, but it was actually Glamour
Glamour was skeptical about Beauty and the man and began to speak on her behalf
Beauty as the lady she is decided to let her talk then state her case
Glamour seemed nice, but she wasn't at all
Beauty knew that Glamour had asked about her already and wondered why she had to go and play the silly role of a woman
Beauty's eyebrow raised and she wanted answers
The next day Beauty brushed it off and went on with her life... She said no I can't let it be this way, so she called up the Man
The Man explained what happened, but briefly
Beauty was in fear that this would happen someday so she felt bad
She had let Glamour know she was just a friend and Glamour took it out on the man
Beauty respected her for that she did the right thing, for Beauty was only an innocent bystander
The day after Beauty received numerous messages on her phone
She first checked the t-messages and was upset with what she read
Then she cleared the missed calls and listened to the voice message
Beauty could not believe what her ears had heard the audacity of the man!
He told her to have a nice life and that in the future he hopes Glamour would let us be friends, as if she would actually wait around for him for an eternity or something!
Immediately Beauty returned his call, but as the classy lady she is she agreed
She then let the rage build after calling it off and called her cousin Unique
Unique helped her to vent and let her know it wasn't worth it in the first place
Beauty knew that Glamour had to keep her away from the man, because she is a Natural Beauty
She only let him befriend those who are his co-workers and those within their social bubble
Beauty was upset because she had been a long term friend, but she figured he will be back later
Beauty knows that once he comes to his senses he's going to miss her and she will never think to look back
Beauty knew she was still on his mind and often asked "How does the man sleep next to Glamour at night with Beauty on the mind?"
To bad the man never thought once about their friendship, but he will miss her if not now that she's gone...
Everyone knows that Natural Beauty beats Glamour, but to bad the man didn't recognize that!!!
Moral of the story is if you're friends with someone who's in a relationship and you ask to be introduced, but aren't by the friend then their intentions with you aren't good, especially if they are sneaking around with you and lying to their partner about where they are and whom they are with!!! Remember Karma is karma and you don't want it to happen to you, so leave her B!
Pengina Monologues
Eh-umh
Is this thing on... Uh yeah yeah
Yeah uh my name is John... John Doe and I would like to introduce myself
I'm a man and so are other men, but I'm a different man... a RARE BREED
Yeah I was dating her, but I couldn't tell if she was into me. I mean she always made accusations and assumptions about "bleep." Like I was telling her I was in Atlanta, but she didn't believe me or when I told her I couldn't afford to take her out anymore since I got my own place... She called me out. Calling me all types of names. I liked her and all, but she made it hard for me to at times. Like dag what I got to do to make her trust me. I hung out with my dudes all the time, but she was who I wanted to come by when I got home, but she ain't never want to, She would say if I said, No who else would you ask? What type of "bleep" is that?". I mean she didn't have a car, but she had access to one. I got a car, but I ain't feel like picking her up, even though it was down the street. I'm just saying!
Hello heh heh hello
Yeah can you dim the light please (dang it's all in my face blinding me)
Well there's always to sides to a story... I liked him, but he was full of games.
I wasn't trying to tame him or nothing, but Look I don't like b.s! He lived close by and always wanted me to borrow the car and see him. I told him if you want to see me, then come and get me, but he always had an excuse. Oh my car not working(mind you it's brand new) or I'm too tired... and I'm not!!! Do I have my own car is the question! And Like every time I waited around for him he had a change of plans it was starting to make me act like a "bleep" He travels too much for me... Oh and can you believe he had the nerve to ask me... ASK me to go on a trip with him, I checked my schedule and said yes. Did I mention I took off that weekend! Then he ups and asks his dude and acted as if he never asked me, when I mentioned it... I was like oh "bleep" naw. That's where I drew the line. You would think he was senile or something. Then it leads me back to the little games he plays, I don't care what he says, it's all games!!! Oh yeah my name is Jane Doe by the way! Oh and you wouldn't believe what he did to he... what he had that nerve to ask me to...
Tune in next time for the rest of Pengina Monologues!
Is this thing on... Uh yeah yeah
Yeah uh my name is John... John Doe and I would like to introduce myself
I'm a man and so are other men, but I'm a different man... a RARE BREED
Yeah I was dating her, but I couldn't tell if she was into me. I mean she always made accusations and assumptions about "bleep." Like I was telling her I was in Atlanta, but she didn't believe me or when I told her I couldn't afford to take her out anymore since I got my own place... She called me out. Calling me all types of names. I liked her and all, but she made it hard for me to at times. Like dag what I got to do to make her trust me. I hung out with my dudes all the time, but she was who I wanted to come by when I got home, but she ain't never want to, She would say if I said, No who else would you ask? What type of "bleep" is that?". I mean she didn't have a car, but she had access to one. I got a car, but I ain't feel like picking her up, even though it was down the street. I'm just saying!
Hello heh heh hello
Yeah can you dim the light please (dang it's all in my face blinding me)
Well there's always to sides to a story... I liked him, but he was full of games.
I wasn't trying to tame him or nothing, but Look I don't like b.s! He lived close by and always wanted me to borrow the car and see him. I told him if you want to see me, then come and get me, but he always had an excuse. Oh my car not working(mind you it's brand new) or I'm too tired... and I'm not!!! Do I have my own car is the question! And Like every time I waited around for him he had a change of plans it was starting to make me act like a "bleep" He travels too much for me... Oh and can you believe he had the nerve to ask me... ASK me to go on a trip with him, I checked my schedule and said yes. Did I mention I took off that weekend! Then he ups and asks his dude and acted as if he never asked me, when I mentioned it... I was like oh "bleep" naw. That's where I drew the line. You would think he was senile or something. Then it leads me back to the little games he plays, I don't care what he says, it's all games!!! Oh yeah my name is Jane Doe by the way! Oh and you wouldn't believe what he did to he... what he had that nerve to ask me to...
Tune in next time for the rest of Pengina Monologues!
SHE
She had it all but one thing was missing, yet she never addressed it
She met a guy who swept her off her feet then dropped her on her face
It took time but she got up and over it
She went off to school... Yeah a College girl experiencing life out there on her own
Just turned legal so she began to experience "The Party Life" in a city of finding yourself
She noticed the scene everywhere was the same, so that life became to a hault quickly
Besides spending dubs on the club seeing the same things and ppl is not worth it
Luckily she had a companion who agreed... Though having her ups and down with girlfriends
She quickly narrowed them down to three
The friends back at home remained, but she rarely reached out to them
That thing she never addressed had been reaching out to her though
Life began to get tough along her College journey when she and her father had a big dispute
I guess that's what death of a loved one tends to do to you
She had managed to deal with the death by doing something, that later had came back to bite her in the behind
Luckily again for her she had been blessed to get rid of it quickly and not receive something much worse
She thought this had been bad but never had a clue as to what had been in store... something much worse
That was only the beginning... Since her Dad left her astray things got worse by the day
Her oh so perfect life had been disappearing slowly people loved it for they had already began to assume she was just an act... That's when she got darted with knives in her back
The money stopped coming in, the communication was cut off, but thank God for her three friends and other family members they were her support, despite her downfall
Second year off College she had nothing but a car, little money to get back to school from home, and her plan
Her plan was put into action, yet the world seemed to beg the differ!
She lost all her material possessions her car, place to stay, and way of paying for classes
Then the bills came in and overwhelmed her... she didn't cry she stood strong and went around every obstacle thrown her way.
The money she anticipated for had never come through and she had no way of paying her bills
She began praying but she was only a conditional prayer
She could never understand why she would go through so much, but she never gave up and pushed for opportunity
Her prayers had been heard, because the doors starting opening, but not how she had planned!
In the mix of it all she met a boy, because he played the games of one
This boy had certain qualities that she had liked, yet he was not her type
He dressed nice had his own place and car, but her intuition said he's not the one
She ignored her intuition and did things her way
She had met a guy who had been a relative of the boy she was seeing and grew fond of him
She introduced him to a good companion and noticed that he was very genuine
She knew that he was a keeper so they became best- genuine friends
She talked with him more then his own relative and learned what a man should really be like through him
He was God fearing, attractive, goal-oriented, well- dressed, funny, and most inportantly genuine
She had admired his qualities and cherished their friendship
She would do anything he asked of her, because he would do the same
She had wished that the boy were more like him, but instead she settled for him
She had received all the signs that he was no good for her, but still she stayed
She was introduced to a church through a friend, and grew to like it so she joined
She met members who befriended her and shared their testimonies which made her want to change, so
She went to church every Sunday and wouldn't miss service for the world... that is until
She stayed overnight at the boys place one Saturday night
She had set an alarm for church, but dismissed it and turned over to look at the boy
She heard a voice say "Why didn't you go to church?"
She looked up to see that it was her bestfriend, she answered him "I don't know!" with shame
She then began to realize that she had made the biggest mistake by putting a boy before her God
She had told herself to leave the boy alone, but he would only plead with her to stay
She was naive for him, but not naive enough to stand under God's authority
She had been punished the more she stayed and knew she had to get out of her situation with the boy
She knew that fornication and salvation just did not mix, so she decided to change her ways
She had been punished with a flood that occurred more then once in the place she had stayed
She looked to the boy, but he ignored the situation, but Luckily the door for opportunity had been opened again
Her best friend had given her his room to stay in until the place where she stayed had been fixed
She had no money for food, but he had also provided that too, just as long as she set aside a plate for him
After realizing that God kept opening doors for her
She made it her New Years resolution to be committed to God and spent New Years eve in Church
She felt something come over her spirit and began to stretch her hands forth and cry out unto God
She made a declaration to never sin again nor settle for less, but to yield to God and follow what he has in store for her
She had been tested shortly after three days of her promise to God
She failed the test by letting temptation win over her salvation
She knew then that she would be punished, but not how
She had left the boy alone for good this time and made a commitment to herself as well
She began to talk to her best friend one night about their plan v.s. God's plan
She mentioned that they should put their bad habits behind and follow through with God's plan
She had shared a story she heard in church that same day with him
She had no clue that what she had said had been a prophesy from God to warn her friend of his bad habit
She had received news the next day that her best friend had been hospitalized, but never knew how or why
She thought that he was in critical condition and that he had a minor injury from playing his favorite sport, but
She had no clue as to what had been in store for her eyes to see
She and her other good companion had gone to visit him and before she could enter the room and see him her good companion had burst into tears
She couldn't understand why until she had saw him lying in the hospital bed unresponsive
She had immediately stood strong and began to pray for him to herself
She then called up her Reverend and asked that they too be watchman on the wall
She knew that she had to stand strong for those around her, because their hearts had grown weary.
She had never let a tear come down her eyes she just remained hopeful... and for the first time in a very long time... She had prayed aloud over someone, that's when
She realized that it's only right that she change her ways
She had finally received the money that she had been waiting for and was faced with an ultimatum
She had to choose between helping to move her best friend (because the hospital had given up on his life) to another hospital or to get her room back
She decided that she would spare her life to save another and gave all of her money to her best friends' survival
She never mentioned why or thought about her living situation, instead she gave it all, and said that it was from her and her good companion both... her best friend had been moved and she waited up all night to hear good news of a safe arrival
She finally received the news and was somewhat relieved
She kept her focus on him and began to miss class some days, because it was overwhelming and her grades began to slip, and so did her high grade point average
She started going to church faithfully now not just Sunday, but Wednesday as well
She started to pray and fast and keep her focus on God for his health and got her good companion to join in
Though her good companion was not as persistent as she was she didn't allow her to get in the way
She would drive hours with her good companion to the hospital where he had been taken just to pray over him in person
She carried with her oil and placed it on the crown of his head, heart, hands, and soles of his feel for God's anointance and mercy over his soul
She wrote a letter to him over the course of him being hospitalized knowing that when he recovered it will be there for him to read and be aware of what was going on
Three weeks went by and while in a meeting she asked a question, but couldn't keep her focus
While her question had been answered she started to feel her body shake and her head twitch as if she had been fighting off a seizure
She then left the meeting and received a phone call... It was her best friends' sister calling, but she had already been on a phone call
She thought that she had been calling with good news until the calls were back to back; she then ended her call and returned her best friends' sisters' call
She heard a voice trembling and trying to speak... she asked, ''Whats wrong?''
She heard the words that her best friend had gone on his eternal vacation
She told his sister to keep praying over him, and that she was going to go to the church, call the Reverend, and pray that he becomes responsive again... then it began to rain
She grabbed her good companion asked her to drive and head to the sanctuary
She had asked why and she told her to just drive... she then said, "Please don't tell me it's what I think it is!"
She looked over at her and said that's why we have to pray... immediately she began to cry
She told her don't you cry we are going to pray for a miracle over his life
She then went to the church and the prayer warriors had heard the news and prayed for them in their time of grief
She said to herself NO I'm not giving up on him and began to find a spot to pray
She prayed and opened the bible to ask God for a sign
She then randomly opened the bible to the book of Mark 15:33
Then rays of sunshine was placed upon the bible after raining for hours
She knew in her heart that immediately he was going to be brought back to life
She went into the sanctuary and a good friend of the church shared her same story about her relative, the friend had told her that she too was like her, and was searching for a miracle and not to give up... but to keep in mind that he may have been standing in the gateway sparing his life for someone else's. The friend also told her to ask for prevention and not reaction.
She had kept that in my mind and it led her to thinking
She went home and while her good companion cried and screamed on the stairwell, she began praising God
She never slept and played their game of Uno, because she knew he was there in spirit
She often looked across the street where he lived and reminisced, then towards the sky shaking her head
She did not want it to be just old memories, but asked to dream of new ones to come
She never received a dream of him and could not understand why when everyone else did
She fought her minds thoughts of him being gone and fast and prayed; somewhere
Weeks went by and She finally accepted his decision to leave
She argued with everyone around her, because she had lost all hope in everything
She knew that she had reaped the consequences of what she had done before, and that this had been her punishment... It had hit her hard!
She began to blame herself for the death of her best friend, because God had warned her, as well as, him; They had both been punished and it was equivalent as to the hurt of the punishment
She knew that her own actions had been a hindrance to her blessings
She wrote a letter to her best friend and a poem letting him know that she was happy with his decision, and that she supports him in all that he is doing
She had been asked to speak on his behalf as a friend at his funeral and was delighted to do so
She traveled back home with her companion and remained happy
She got herself prepped for his viewing, but as she walked in her heart began to race and she began to tremble with fear
She never went up to see him, but her good companion said it hadn't looked like him
She sat away from his casket and when it had been closed to go back into the hearse it had been reeled out near her
She then realized that he was gone and was not coming back; she stood up, stared, drew a blank, and reached out for him screaming his name and crying out for him to not leave her
She had been dragged out of the viewing and snapped back into reality
The next day she had awakened to a familiar song that she had heard her good companion play, and dedicate to her best friend while in the hospital
She rolled over from out of her sleep to see the video "Halo" by Beyonce on the tv
She could never understand again why he had reached out to her companions and not her
She then prepared herself for his funeral and let the words just flow as she spake on his behalf
She left the church while they allowed everyone to view his body, because she didn't want to face him
A week went by and it was Valentines Day
She had a dream that was very strange at first... She had been taken to jail and then released for fighting; then
She was walking by a big church window with Jesus's face in it, and a very bright light from the sun shining through it blindsided her
She looked towards it and had seen her best friend dressed in all white with a royal blue button up shirt and tie underneath
She had burst into tears and asked him a question... Are you always with us?
He had then answered her and said "I be busy ''She'' (like he had told her when he was at work or school) then he said, " I'm always here for you, and with you!" Then he disappeared
She then seen a girl dressed in all white in the sanctuary who had been suffering and was about to die, the girl was apart of a sorority (Alpha Kappa Alpha), then there were some AKAs dancing around (She) and asking her to join their sorority in a song
She knew that it's what her best friend wanted her to do, but she was still undecided about it
She was awakened by a knock on the door
She woke up and began to cry and write in her journal about her dream
She had shared it with her good companion, because she asked whats her reason for tears , but her friend never understood the dream
She had always hated Valentine's Day, but from here on out she loved it and decided to cherish it forever.
Months went by and She began to feel alone, her good companion had met a boy, and she began to see less of her
She had wished that her best friend were still there, but she had to sense his presence in spirit
She often played Uno by herself and got up the nerve to change her looks and start mingling more
She started to feel better once she started mingling and hanging with friends, but her life was still incomplete
She began crying more and asking God why is she in this stage of struggle
She had lost everything her best friend, transportation, place to stay, classes, communication, and laptop(in the flood)
She even was beginning to lose her good companion to a boy, let alone her mind
Her other bestfriend who she had lost over a dispute returned to her and she felt somewhat whole
She had tried to patch things up, but never got around to it, so she lived and let the friendship remain as is and not before
Her Bestfriend and good companion began spending more time together then they did and she remained to herself
No one knew of her struggles except her best friend in heaven, family, and good companion
She started to feel a sense of betrayal and had no one to turn to, but God
She then knew she was betrayed when her good companion had schemed her, but she remained silent
She then decided to Let Go and Let God, because he was still there through it all
She let him have his way and returned home
She had received a job and had enjoyed it
She got in touch with an old friend and started hanging with him
She started to see herself headed down the wrong path again and ended up back on the wrong path
She fought her temptation, but gave in
She then felt a pain she had never felt before; her heart had really ached and she knew this time that she had really let God down
She decided that is was not worth the agony and soon cut her friend off
She had been punished again with her job this time... her hours were cut short then she had non at all even though it was temporary!
She then started attending church back home and hanging with her best friends sister, but things were not the same, she would be reminded of him too much and cry her eyes out
She shared with his family the dream she had and she had been right about his attire they were stunned
She would also hang with her long term friend, but that too came at its end as usual, but she knew it was routine for them and that they would be friends again sooner if not later.
She still needed to find herself and her way
She was worried constantly about getting back into school and where life was going for her
Everyone was telling her what to do, but She had always kept in mind her best friends' advice on that and that was "Do what you want to, because it's your life and you have to live it, consequences and all!"
She had received a prophesy at a revival that had answered her worries and her spirit had been set free from bondage... that was to sign the application and don't be afraid to take that giant step, God had to disconnect her from somethings and get her where she needed to be, because that school she attented is not for her! He asked what was the school, she spoke of it and he said that God said "Sign the Application!" It's already there waiting for her... It's already been done!
She then decided to follow through with God's plan and not her own
She began to praise him more and not occasionally or conditionally and received her gift of vision back
She fought the doubt in her mind and became strong in faith for she knew her faith could move a mountain
She started going to a church and had been prophesied by a complete stranger; that as she was in the church praising God that she had been covered in all white... She was said to be elevated in God's word and presence, She was then asked if she was in school and she said No... but he said you want to go back, but you're held back financially; then he said that he sees her in a white coat like a doctor's coat and that she wants to go in the medical field, but it's those finances she's struggling with
She was stunned because it was all true, he told her don't worry about it because Grants are coming your way and so will the transportation
She thought wow God is real she believes his word... Then a women came to her and said that she too saw that "She" has been struggling and ''She" answered yes, then the women said, ''Your struggle is going to be eased!'' and "She" thought wow God is such an Awesome God!
She then started going back and received all sorts of prophesies that left her with nothing to do, but praise God... She was told she will lead in ministry, because the gift is inherited, that she will lead the people around her, that not just anyone can be her companion, that she will be an honor student and favored by the dean and her counselor, that she is the fruit in the basket which stands out, that she is different and curious about God and not to go head first into a church, because she was special and not any church can have her fellowship, that the last seat at the table is for her, and that she had suffered from something in the past that God had got rid of, and now wants her to save herself for marriage. It was all true!
She had once again fought the discouragement and struggled harder to prevail
She had spent one Sunday with her family and everything was going Great... UNTIL "She" had gotten into a dispute with her Mother... Early that day she received a fortune that said "If you put up with small annoyances then you will receive great gain." She just knew it wasn't for her, but it was!
She had put up with it and decided to go to her room and watch tv
She began to cry and starting thinking about her life
She then passed out and woke up to banging on the door, because she had locked it
She went out onto her balcony and sat against the wall balled up and crying
She was approached by her Mom who had said that it was time for her to pack her things and leave
She then went into the room turned over her nightstands and broke her closet door
Her family rushed in and asked her what was wrong, but she had gone mad
She was screaming aloud "I'm a failure, my life is a mess, and that she no longer wanted to live"
She went into detail about school and a job
She then backed into a corner and her soul stepped outside of her and watched as "she" was losing it
Her soul then overshadowed her and tried to comfort her, but there was no use
Her family then came to pray over her, but she was still out of the norm
She had been broken and battered, because the enemy had stolen her mind like he had been planning to
She then never slept because she kept hearing a voice saying "Pick up a knife and slit your wrist you have no reason for living your life is going nowhere, why not end it now?"
She knew it was the enemy and blocked him out by focusing on God
She was embarassed and was in fear of what would happen next, so
She did what she knew would cast out the enemy... She prayed and praised God
She let God intervene, because "She" knows that he supersedes all things
She then began going to prayer meetings and following through with God's plan... only this time
She sacrificed her friendships and her way of living for good
When the enemy tries to discourage her she turns open her bible to see what God says and puts her iTunes on shuffle and God never ever leads her astray he always leads her to what she needs to hear
She now listens to only gospel music and music with meaning
She is filled with joy and receives everlasting overflow
She now knows how to love
She has let go of what's no good for her and Let God handle it
She has grown closer to her family including her Dad and good friends
She is never negative about anything, but in all things optimistic
She is at peace
She has gotten accepted into the school her heart really desires with enough grants and finances to go to medical school as well
She knows that when it's time to return to school, that she will be on honors
She knows that God has a purpose for her life
She has decided to not make plans for herself, but follow the plans of God
She has a car that's paid off and it's the car she had been asking God for and not settling with
She has gained knowledge, wisdom, and understanding
She has an even better fully committed relationship with God
She loves to praise and worship God and speak of his Goodness and mercy
She does not care what others think of her praising God
She has gotten her standards back in order
She knows that her man Bryson awaits her in school
She is beautiful at heart and mind
She is Gods child and knows his protection is over her
She has finally decided to share her testimony... and
She is ME!
She met a guy who swept her off her feet then dropped her on her face
It took time but she got up and over it
She went off to school... Yeah a College girl experiencing life out there on her own
Just turned legal so she began to experience "The Party Life" in a city of finding yourself
She noticed the scene everywhere was the same, so that life became to a hault quickly
Besides spending dubs on the club seeing the same things and ppl is not worth it
Luckily she had a companion who agreed... Though having her ups and down with girlfriends
She quickly narrowed them down to three
The friends back at home remained, but she rarely reached out to them
That thing she never addressed had been reaching out to her though
Life began to get tough along her College journey when she and her father had a big dispute
I guess that's what death of a loved one tends to do to you
She had managed to deal with the death by doing something, that later had came back to bite her in the behind
Luckily again for her she had been blessed to get rid of it quickly and not receive something much worse
She thought this had been bad but never had a clue as to what had been in store... something much worse
That was only the beginning... Since her Dad left her astray things got worse by the day
Her oh so perfect life had been disappearing slowly people loved it for they had already began to assume she was just an act... That's when she got darted with knives in her back
The money stopped coming in, the communication was cut off, but thank God for her three friends and other family members they were her support, despite her downfall
Second year off College she had nothing but a car, little money to get back to school from home, and her plan
Her plan was put into action, yet the world seemed to beg the differ!
She lost all her material possessions her car, place to stay, and way of paying for classes
Then the bills came in and overwhelmed her... she didn't cry she stood strong and went around every obstacle thrown her way.
The money she anticipated for had never come through and she had no way of paying her bills
She began praying but she was only a conditional prayer
She could never understand why she would go through so much, but she never gave up and pushed for opportunity
Her prayers had been heard, because the doors starting opening, but not how she had planned!
In the mix of it all she met a boy, because he played the games of one
This boy had certain qualities that she had liked, yet he was not her type
He dressed nice had his own place and car, but her intuition said he's not the one
She ignored her intuition and did things her way
She had met a guy who had been a relative of the boy she was seeing and grew fond of him
She introduced him to a good companion and noticed that he was very genuine
She knew that he was a keeper so they became best- genuine friends
She talked with him more then his own relative and learned what a man should really be like through him
He was God fearing, attractive, goal-oriented, well- dressed, funny, and most inportantly genuine
She had admired his qualities and cherished their friendship
She would do anything he asked of her, because he would do the same
She had wished that the boy were more like him, but instead she settled for him
She had received all the signs that he was no good for her, but still she stayed
She was introduced to a church through a friend, and grew to like it so she joined
She met members who befriended her and shared their testimonies which made her want to change, so
She went to church every Sunday and wouldn't miss service for the world... that is until
She stayed overnight at the boys place one Saturday night
She had set an alarm for church, but dismissed it and turned over to look at the boy
She heard a voice say "Why didn't you go to church?"
She looked up to see that it was her bestfriend, she answered him "I don't know!" with shame
She then began to realize that she had made the biggest mistake by putting a boy before her God
She had told herself to leave the boy alone, but he would only plead with her to stay
She was naive for him, but not naive enough to stand under God's authority
She had been punished the more she stayed and knew she had to get out of her situation with the boy
She knew that fornication and salvation just did not mix, so she decided to change her ways
She had been punished with a flood that occurred more then once in the place she had stayed
She looked to the boy, but he ignored the situation, but Luckily the door for opportunity had been opened again
Her best friend had given her his room to stay in until the place where she stayed had been fixed
She had no money for food, but he had also provided that too, just as long as she set aside a plate for him
After realizing that God kept opening doors for her
She made it her New Years resolution to be committed to God and spent New Years eve in Church
She felt something come over her spirit and began to stretch her hands forth and cry out unto God
She made a declaration to never sin again nor settle for less, but to yield to God and follow what he has in store for her
She had been tested shortly after three days of her promise to God
She failed the test by letting temptation win over her salvation
She knew then that she would be punished, but not how
She had left the boy alone for good this time and made a commitment to herself as well
She began to talk to her best friend one night about their plan v.s. God's plan
She mentioned that they should put their bad habits behind and follow through with God's plan
She had shared a story she heard in church that same day with him
She had no clue that what she had said had been a prophesy from God to warn her friend of his bad habit
She had received news the next day that her best friend had been hospitalized, but never knew how or why
She thought that he was in critical condition and that he had a minor injury from playing his favorite sport, but
She had no clue as to what had been in store for her eyes to see
She and her other good companion had gone to visit him and before she could enter the room and see him her good companion had burst into tears
She couldn't understand why until she had saw him lying in the hospital bed unresponsive
She had immediately stood strong and began to pray for him to herself
She then called up her Reverend and asked that they too be watchman on the wall
She knew that she had to stand strong for those around her, because their hearts had grown weary.
She had never let a tear come down her eyes she just remained hopeful... and for the first time in a very long time... She had prayed aloud over someone, that's when
She realized that it's only right that she change her ways
She had finally received the money that she had been waiting for and was faced with an ultimatum
She had to choose between helping to move her best friend (because the hospital had given up on his life) to another hospital or to get her room back
She decided that she would spare her life to save another and gave all of her money to her best friends' survival
She never mentioned why or thought about her living situation, instead she gave it all, and said that it was from her and her good companion both... her best friend had been moved and she waited up all night to hear good news of a safe arrival
She finally received the news and was somewhat relieved
She kept her focus on him and began to miss class some days, because it was overwhelming and her grades began to slip, and so did her high grade point average
She started going to church faithfully now not just Sunday, but Wednesday as well
She started to pray and fast and keep her focus on God for his health and got her good companion to join in
Though her good companion was not as persistent as she was she didn't allow her to get in the way
She would drive hours with her good companion to the hospital where he had been taken just to pray over him in person
She carried with her oil and placed it on the crown of his head, heart, hands, and soles of his feel for God's anointance and mercy over his soul
She wrote a letter to him over the course of him being hospitalized knowing that when he recovered it will be there for him to read and be aware of what was going on
Three weeks went by and while in a meeting she asked a question, but couldn't keep her focus
While her question had been answered she started to feel her body shake and her head twitch as if she had been fighting off a seizure
She then left the meeting and received a phone call... It was her best friends' sister calling, but she had already been on a phone call
She thought that she had been calling with good news until the calls were back to back; she then ended her call and returned her best friends' sisters' call
She heard a voice trembling and trying to speak... she asked, ''Whats wrong?''
She heard the words that her best friend had gone on his eternal vacation
She told his sister to keep praying over him, and that she was going to go to the church, call the Reverend, and pray that he becomes responsive again... then it began to rain
She grabbed her good companion asked her to drive and head to the sanctuary
She had asked why and she told her to just drive... she then said, "Please don't tell me it's what I think it is!"
She looked over at her and said that's why we have to pray... immediately she began to cry
She told her don't you cry we are going to pray for a miracle over his life
She then went to the church and the prayer warriors had heard the news and prayed for them in their time of grief
She said to herself NO I'm not giving up on him and began to find a spot to pray
She prayed and opened the bible to ask God for a sign
She then randomly opened the bible to the book of Mark 15:33
Then rays of sunshine was placed upon the bible after raining for hours
She knew in her heart that immediately he was going to be brought back to life
She went into the sanctuary and a good friend of the church shared her same story about her relative, the friend had told her that she too was like her, and was searching for a miracle and not to give up... but to keep in mind that he may have been standing in the gateway sparing his life for someone else's. The friend also told her to ask for prevention and not reaction.
She had kept that in my mind and it led her to thinking
She went home and while her good companion cried and screamed on the stairwell, she began praising God
She never slept and played their game of Uno, because she knew he was there in spirit
She often looked across the street where he lived and reminisced, then towards the sky shaking her head
She did not want it to be just old memories, but asked to dream of new ones to come
She never received a dream of him and could not understand why when everyone else did
She fought her minds thoughts of him being gone and fast and prayed; somewhere
Weeks went by and She finally accepted his decision to leave
She argued with everyone around her, because she had lost all hope in everything
She knew that she had reaped the consequences of what she had done before, and that this had been her punishment... It had hit her hard!
She began to blame herself for the death of her best friend, because God had warned her, as well as, him; They had both been punished and it was equivalent as to the hurt of the punishment
She knew that her own actions had been a hindrance to her blessings
She wrote a letter to her best friend and a poem letting him know that she was happy with his decision, and that she supports him in all that he is doing
She had been asked to speak on his behalf as a friend at his funeral and was delighted to do so
She traveled back home with her companion and remained happy
She got herself prepped for his viewing, but as she walked in her heart began to race and she began to tremble with fear
She never went up to see him, but her good companion said it hadn't looked like him
She sat away from his casket and when it had been closed to go back into the hearse it had been reeled out near her
She then realized that he was gone and was not coming back; she stood up, stared, drew a blank, and reached out for him screaming his name and crying out for him to not leave her
She had been dragged out of the viewing and snapped back into reality
The next day she had awakened to a familiar song that she had heard her good companion play, and dedicate to her best friend while in the hospital
She rolled over from out of her sleep to see the video "Halo" by Beyonce on the tv
She could never understand again why he had reached out to her companions and not her
She then prepared herself for his funeral and let the words just flow as she spake on his behalf
She left the church while they allowed everyone to view his body, because she didn't want to face him
A week went by and it was Valentines Day
She had a dream that was very strange at first... She had been taken to jail and then released for fighting; then
She was walking by a big church window with Jesus's face in it, and a very bright light from the sun shining through it blindsided her
She looked towards it and had seen her best friend dressed in all white with a royal blue button up shirt and tie underneath
She had burst into tears and asked him a question... Are you always with us?
He had then answered her and said "I be busy ''She'' (like he had told her when he was at work or school) then he said, " I'm always here for you, and with you!" Then he disappeared
She then seen a girl dressed in all white in the sanctuary who had been suffering and was about to die, the girl was apart of a sorority (Alpha Kappa Alpha), then there were some AKAs dancing around (She) and asking her to join their sorority in a song
She knew that it's what her best friend wanted her to do, but she was still undecided about it
She was awakened by a knock on the door
She woke up and began to cry and write in her journal about her dream
She had shared it with her good companion, because she asked whats her reason for tears , but her friend never understood the dream
She had always hated Valentine's Day, but from here on out she loved it and decided to cherish it forever.
Months went by and She began to feel alone, her good companion had met a boy, and she began to see less of her
She had wished that her best friend were still there, but she had to sense his presence in spirit
She often played Uno by herself and got up the nerve to change her looks and start mingling more
She started to feel better once she started mingling and hanging with friends, but her life was still incomplete
She began crying more and asking God why is she in this stage of struggle
She had lost everything her best friend, transportation, place to stay, classes, communication, and laptop(in the flood)
She even was beginning to lose her good companion to a boy, let alone her mind
Her other bestfriend who she had lost over a dispute returned to her and she felt somewhat whole
She had tried to patch things up, but never got around to it, so she lived and let the friendship remain as is and not before
Her Bestfriend and good companion began spending more time together then they did and she remained to herself
No one knew of her struggles except her best friend in heaven, family, and good companion
She started to feel a sense of betrayal and had no one to turn to, but God
She then knew she was betrayed when her good companion had schemed her, but she remained silent
She then decided to Let Go and Let God, because he was still there through it all
She let him have his way and returned home
She had received a job and had enjoyed it
She got in touch with an old friend and started hanging with him
She started to see herself headed down the wrong path again and ended up back on the wrong path
She fought her temptation, but gave in
She then felt a pain she had never felt before; her heart had really ached and she knew this time that she had really let God down
She decided that is was not worth the agony and soon cut her friend off
She had been punished again with her job this time... her hours were cut short then she had non at all even though it was temporary!
She then started attending church back home and hanging with her best friends sister, but things were not the same, she would be reminded of him too much and cry her eyes out
She shared with his family the dream she had and she had been right about his attire they were stunned
She would also hang with her long term friend, but that too came at its end as usual, but she knew it was routine for them and that they would be friends again sooner if not later.
She still needed to find herself and her way
She was worried constantly about getting back into school and where life was going for her
Everyone was telling her what to do, but She had always kept in mind her best friends' advice on that and that was "Do what you want to, because it's your life and you have to live it, consequences and all!"
She had received a prophesy at a revival that had answered her worries and her spirit had been set free from bondage... that was to sign the application and don't be afraid to take that giant step, God had to disconnect her from somethings and get her where she needed to be, because that school she attented is not for her! He asked what was the school, she spoke of it and he said that God said "Sign the Application!" It's already there waiting for her... It's already been done!
She then decided to follow through with God's plan and not her own
She began to praise him more and not occasionally or conditionally and received her gift of vision back
She fought the doubt in her mind and became strong in faith for she knew her faith could move a mountain
She started going to a church and had been prophesied by a complete stranger; that as she was in the church praising God that she had been covered in all white... She was said to be elevated in God's word and presence, She was then asked if she was in school and she said No... but he said you want to go back, but you're held back financially; then he said that he sees her in a white coat like a doctor's coat and that she wants to go in the medical field, but it's those finances she's struggling with
She was stunned because it was all true, he told her don't worry about it because Grants are coming your way and so will the transportation
She thought wow God is real she believes his word... Then a women came to her and said that she too saw that "She" has been struggling and ''She" answered yes, then the women said, ''Your struggle is going to be eased!'' and "She" thought wow God is such an Awesome God!
She then started going back and received all sorts of prophesies that left her with nothing to do, but praise God... She was told she will lead in ministry, because the gift is inherited, that she will lead the people around her, that not just anyone can be her companion, that she will be an honor student and favored by the dean and her counselor, that she is the fruit in the basket which stands out, that she is different and curious about God and not to go head first into a church, because she was special and not any church can have her fellowship, that the last seat at the table is for her, and that she had suffered from something in the past that God had got rid of, and now wants her to save herself for marriage. It was all true!
She had once again fought the discouragement and struggled harder to prevail
She had spent one Sunday with her family and everything was going Great... UNTIL "She" had gotten into a dispute with her Mother... Early that day she received a fortune that said "If you put up with small annoyances then you will receive great gain." She just knew it wasn't for her, but it was!
She had put up with it and decided to go to her room and watch tv
She began to cry and starting thinking about her life
She then passed out and woke up to banging on the door, because she had locked it
She went out onto her balcony and sat against the wall balled up and crying
She was approached by her Mom who had said that it was time for her to pack her things and leave
She then went into the room turned over her nightstands and broke her closet door
Her family rushed in and asked her what was wrong, but she had gone mad
She was screaming aloud "I'm a failure, my life is a mess, and that she no longer wanted to live"
She went into detail about school and a job
She then backed into a corner and her soul stepped outside of her and watched as "she" was losing it
Her soul then overshadowed her and tried to comfort her, but there was no use
Her family then came to pray over her, but she was still out of the norm
She had been broken and battered, because the enemy had stolen her mind like he had been planning to
She then never slept because she kept hearing a voice saying "Pick up a knife and slit your wrist you have no reason for living your life is going nowhere, why not end it now?"
She knew it was the enemy and blocked him out by focusing on God
She was embarassed and was in fear of what would happen next, so
She did what she knew would cast out the enemy... She prayed and praised God
She let God intervene, because "She" knows that he supersedes all things
She then began going to prayer meetings and following through with God's plan... only this time
She sacrificed her friendships and her way of living for good
When the enemy tries to discourage her she turns open her bible to see what God says and puts her iTunes on shuffle and God never ever leads her astray he always leads her to what she needs to hear
She now listens to only gospel music and music with meaning
She is filled with joy and receives everlasting overflow
She now knows how to love
She has let go of what's no good for her and Let God handle it
She has grown closer to her family including her Dad and good friends
She is never negative about anything, but in all things optimistic
She is at peace
She has gotten accepted into the school her heart really desires with enough grants and finances to go to medical school as well
She knows that when it's time to return to school, that she will be on honors
She knows that God has a purpose for her life
She has decided to not make plans for herself, but follow the plans of God
She has a car that's paid off and it's the car she had been asking God for and not settling with
She has gained knowledge, wisdom, and understanding
She has an even better fully committed relationship with God
She loves to praise and worship God and speak of his Goodness and mercy
She does not care what others think of her praising God
She has gotten her standards back in order
She knows that her man Bryson awaits her in school
She is beautiful at heart and mind
She is Gods child and knows his protection is over her
She has finally decided to share her testimony... and
She is ME!
DOG
Now I can be so cliche' as to name all of the dogs... AND I WILL Atomic Dog, Mighty Dog, Trifling Dog, Under Dog, Snoop Dogg & the list goes on...
I don't want to be titled as "That Girl," but in this case it's worth the risk... and here it goes
Dog... let's see another word for "bleep" if you ask me
Walking around with this swag, smelling, and looking good
Owning up to his title in his hood
Undercover no girl can keep track of his prints
Mouth just as clean as a "Dog" can't tell who he last kissed if not licked
Crown holder of doing the ladies wrong
Has a nose for a woman... Oh yes he can smell her a mile away
When it comes to games he sure knows how to play
Has so many tricks he can pull; You can confuse him for the real animal
Underneath that beautiful coat of his are nothing but lies
Like fleas they stick right by his side
And you say that women are "bleeps" I see not a difference
He's exposed by the women, but we play the game much more clever
We round all his victims and get them together
Give a dog a bone and he will confess
Just like a dog to give himself away and fail the test
Sneaking off into the night then creeping back like he has not done anything at all
He gives himself away too with his call
Women are exposed by the dog, because they can't keep their tongues in their mouths
Letting lose all that saliva, because he barks too much
And they say women talk more then men... Ha I beg to differ!
He may clean up his tracks, but the trail of drool led us to the liar
Watch out dog you're playing with fire
There goes the dog chasing again
The dog is so bold he lets it show through the print of his pants
He will even go after your own friends!
That dog so Mighty and full of pride
He's such a scrub always asking to borrow your ride
Give the dog a treat and he will act like a trick
Nobody wants him now he's contagious... Watch out you might have caught one of his ticks!
And you wonder why they say dog is man's best companion
They share lots of things in common... especially when it comes to draining the main vein
I bet the dog even lied to you saying you're his main
My goodness they're so much a like, if you're looking for a man just buy a dog... that's if you're not dating a DOG already!!!
That DIRTY DOG is so played out that women BEWARE of him!
He thinks his game is soooo tight, but we already know that game
It's time for the dog to be put back on his chain!
Atomic dog, Under dog, DIRTY DOG
Whatever you call yourself
You better stop messing around and go to the vet to check out your health
It's all coming back to finally bite you in the "bleep"
Can't pick up anymore women with good credit and class
Go back to your old habit... digging through the trash
Your rabies are showing you're foaming at the mouth
Just like a dog to mess around that's exactly what I'm talking about
If you liked her then a finger is where you should have put a ring... instead you chose to have one around your tail!
Hope you have good insurance, because you're screw- ups has caused you hell
Rolling around in the mud will do that to you, just like a hog
Go back in your cage you filthy... stinking... rotten DOG!
I don't want to be titled as "That Girl," but in this case it's worth the risk... and here it goes
Dog... let's see another word for "bleep" if you ask me
Walking around with this swag, smelling, and looking good
Owning up to his title in his hood
Undercover no girl can keep track of his prints
Mouth just as clean as a "Dog" can't tell who he last kissed if not licked
Crown holder of doing the ladies wrong
Has a nose for a woman... Oh yes he can smell her a mile away
When it comes to games he sure knows how to play
Has so many tricks he can pull; You can confuse him for the real animal
Underneath that beautiful coat of his are nothing but lies
Like fleas they stick right by his side
And you say that women are "bleeps" I see not a difference
He's exposed by the women, but we play the game much more clever
We round all his victims and get them together
Give a dog a bone and he will confess
Just like a dog to give himself away and fail the test
Sneaking off into the night then creeping back like he has not done anything at all
He gives himself away too with his call
Women are exposed by the dog, because they can't keep their tongues in their mouths
Letting lose all that saliva, because he barks too much
And they say women talk more then men... Ha I beg to differ!
He may clean up his tracks, but the trail of drool led us to the liar
Watch out dog you're playing with fire
There goes the dog chasing again
The dog is so bold he lets it show through the print of his pants
He will even go after your own friends!
That dog so Mighty and full of pride
He's such a scrub always asking to borrow your ride
Give the dog a treat and he will act like a trick
Nobody wants him now he's contagious... Watch out you might have caught one of his ticks!
And you wonder why they say dog is man's best companion
They share lots of things in common... especially when it comes to draining the main vein
I bet the dog even lied to you saying you're his main
My goodness they're so much a like, if you're looking for a man just buy a dog... that's if you're not dating a DOG already!!!
That DIRTY DOG is so played out that women BEWARE of him!
He thinks his game is soooo tight, but we already know that game
It's time for the dog to be put back on his chain!
Atomic dog, Under dog, DIRTY DOG
Whatever you call yourself
You better stop messing around and go to the vet to check out your health
It's all coming back to finally bite you in the "bleep"
Can't pick up anymore women with good credit and class
Go back to your old habit... digging through the trash
Your rabies are showing you're foaming at the mouth
Just like a dog to mess around that's exactly what I'm talking about
If you liked her then a finger is where you should have put a ring... instead you chose to have one around your tail!
Hope you have good insurance, because you're screw- ups has caused you hell
Rolling around in the mud will do that to you, just like a hog
Go back in your cage you filthy... stinking... rotten DOG!
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